09 November, 2006
ive moved here.

12:28 pm*

29 October, 2006
havent been posting for such a veryveryveeeeeeeryyyyyyy long time, it seemed like time has stopped for me.

i read my own blog. and everyone else's that i care about.

for now, life hasnt been all that good. i dont know when it started, but life for me now is just as grey as my surroundings. no more distinct black and white.

its tiring, you know.
to try to keep up and fit in seamlessly when you feel you're not really welcome.
it feels cheap.
i dont like being in the middle, especially when i feel like im obliged to do something to try keep it together...
i like all of you. its just, HAIIIYAH. wah i say haiyah damn often nowadays.

i hate it when so much is being kept back that misunderstandings start to take root and everyone starts to feel too paiseh to voice out their uncertainties.
everything just seems to blur and you wonder if you even know these pple at all. its just not a good feeling, and its worse when pple just resign to it, dismiss it off as something that'll happen eventually

i hate feeling uncertain, especially when the pple in question are supposedly ur good friends.
so. HAIYAH everybody needs to talk and trash this out

while we still can.

5:19 pm*

09 October, 2006
she said she likes things when they are simple and happy, and that they should always be like that. i couldnt help but think how superficial she was.

such a typical blog would be:" oh i heard electrico live at heeren by chance that day, they were really quite good, but im still not going to buy their album, coz its ex! and cds go out of date. i wish i could just keep them all in a cage or something, so i can listen to them live as and when i like! haha. =)"
doesnt it make u wonder whether the person is capable of something deeper? or does tt person only blog for the sake of the audience, and blogs only wad they want pple to see or think of them. but then. that's all pple are interested in, wad u did for the day and wad u think of others(them?). look at the popular blogs. hmmm.

oh well.

on a lighter note, it was games day today. originally i think we all wanted to just be spectators and slack our butts off, but in the end daniel michelle joyce winnie ruifan hazel xinhui and me went to play captain's ball and tennis later on. and, i dunno, it was quite amusing and good to be as (part of) a class for once. i never had a single game with 06s20 before. and i exercised! after 1000489 weeks.
it was quite a failure, games day. like everyone slunk off to slack and nothing happened to them. they just got away with it.
then it made me think of dunmanhigh times again with 2f and 4a and how good it was then. well at least we werent wasting our time, we were fighting hard and i was amazed at how much effort everyone put in to win as a class. especially with 2f, i really dont think i'ld ever have such a class ever again. even though 06s2o pple are good and harmonious(well sort of) we're still not quite gluey enough. maybe after some time it might happen, but i thought the same with 4a, it just was not quite the same.

i'll never forget one whole day of mixed captain's ball, girls vs guys on mooncake festival in sec 1. then running arnd looking for the clues and teachers as a class.

no wonder we all cried and hugged each other on the last day.though it dint happen for 4a when we graduated.

what times. oh well. better memories ahead, only waiting for me to create!

will you make memories with me? or would you rather relive the past?

9:01 pm*

07 October, 2006
currently working on the ambigram ms heng asked me to design.....
www.johnlangdon.net provides A LOT of inspiration. the guy's a master man... made me wonder if i should go look more into typography so i can get better at this. doesnt it look a LOT more promising than the oversaturated manga audience?

then on second thought.... maybe not. SO POSERISH. haha. and its more like wad winnie or shichun might get into. not me.

jack of many trades. loser at most of them. haha.

for once i actually feel like winning something, just to get some recognition. then i can tell my parents, ' look, i got a prize for the "rubbish" u thought i was working on.'
this happens everytime i look at some entries from CERTAIN AEP STUDENTS on deviantart and think 'i could do better than this in secondary sch, wadthehell have they been doing man'. sounds snobbish, yes, but i think its like more of an occupational hazard--aep student(woah, dua pai wor).

and dont blame me for intruding on them, its always good to know more about your friendly neighbourhood stalker, you know.


11:08 pm*

06 October, 2006
i hate it when i stay up late trying to do work and my back aches like i have been standing up for weeks. it makes me feel ooooolllld.

one. more. stupid. day.

then what?

1:01 am*

29 August, 2006
scribble of the day


he forgot about me! and i thought we were the start of something special.... beyond romantic relationship and superficial acquaintances... he told me i meant something and i believed it... guess i was just childish and wrong.

somehow i had a premonition it would end this way... but still i chose to believe.
maybe this is what always happens when u believe in fairytales?

now no one will be there comfort me when i cry in the night.....
everything succumbs to lonliness at the end of the day.

you added meaning to 'miles apart' and 'memory'.

This may never start.
We could fall apart.
And I'd be your memory.
Lost your sense of fear.
Feelings insincere.
Can I be your memory?
So get back, back, back to where we lasted.
Just like I imagine.
I could never feel this way.
So get back, back, back to the disaster.
My heart's beating faster.
Holding on to feel the same.
This may never start.
I'll tear us apart.
Can I be your enemy?
Losing half a year.
Waiting for you hereI'd be your anything.
So get back, back, back to where we lasted.
Just like I imagine.I could never feel this way.
So get back, back, back to the disaster.
My heart's beating faster.
Holding on to feel the same.
This may never start.
Tearing out my heart.
I'd be your memory.
Lost your sense of fear.(I'd be your memory)
Feelings disappeared.
Can I be your memory?
So get back, back, back to where we lasted.
Just like I imagine.
I could never feel this way.
So get back, back, back to the disaster.
My heart's beating faster.
Holding on to feel the same.
This may never start.
We could fall apartAnd I'd be your memory.
Lost your sense of fear.
Feelings insincere.
Can I be your memory?
Can I be your memory?

11:05 pm*

to mummy and papa:



12:05 am*